Silent Secrets: Hidden Struggles of a Never-Ending Nightmare

Nightmares can be a distressing experience, especially when occurring alone. These unsettling dreams often evoke feelings of fear, anxiety, or unease, leaving individuals feeling vulnerable and unsettled upon waking. The experience of being alone while experiencing a nightmare can intensify these emotions. There is no immediate comfort or reassurance from others during the aftermath. It is often these hidden struggles that are taken for granted.

People may grapple with the lingering effects of a nightmare without the immediate support of others when confronted with one. This can lead to heightened feelings of isolation and a greater sense of vulnerability. Dreams experienced in solitude can pose a significant psychological and emotional burden. It is essential to understand the impact they can have on individuals. Finding an effective coping strategies to help them cope is essential. In this article, you will see how my nightmare affected me and why they were so bad.

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Please check out the first article of my story to fully understand everything I went through up to this point.

The Start of my nightmare

After the sanity trial I became very angry. My grandparents would be up and down with us all hours of the night because of nightmares. In the 5th grade I started getting into fights and hating everyone around me. I felt the world owed me something since my mom was taken from me. Upon returning home from school, I would listen to sad and depressing music.

I never wanted to go over to friends even though I was asked to go over multiple times. The majority of the time I didn’t want to. At the time, I didn’t think the world was a great place. So I didn’t want to be a part of it.

I also started have flash backs in my dreams. Upon waking up drenched in sweat and in a heavy panic. I would look around only to discover that I was in my own room. It is easy for me to recall a few nightmares that I had that were actually flashbacks, but I did not realize it at the time.

Feeling invisible

I never mentioned any of this to my grandparents because they were too busy dealing with my sister who was waking up screaming from her nightmares. I dont know if I was just able to handle them better or if I suppressed them because my sister had the attention. This lasted a few years, according to what I remember.

It became easy to withdraw and not talk about my feelings and to just bottle them up because I felt no one cared enough to listen. I felt I wasnt important enough. by the time I was 10 things had gotten a little easier but I was still very withdrawn.

Being on T.V.

My grandparents felt that our story needed to be heard and so they got in contact with the Sally Jesse Raphael show. We were flown to New York in a beautiful plane and picked up in a limo and brought to a hotel that Sally had paid for.

We went on her show and told our story and my sister immediately made friends with one of the children that were on the show. I immediately felt invisbile to everyone, which then only made my depression even that much worse. After the show we went to dinner with the family that my sister had made friends with and still the invisibility stood. I grew up thinking I wasnt that important because my sisters needs were more important than mine.

After dinner we went back to the hotel and then left in the morning only to find out that we had another show that we were going to be on. This time it was Geraldo. This show was nice and i felt very visible because of Geraldo.

He made it very apparent that I was not invisible and that I mattered too. After the Geraldo show we did one more show which was the crossroads show which was filmed in my grandparents house. We never went on anymore after that and I am happy about that because they made the spot light on my sister because she was a little older than me and I was just a baby when it happened and that was their mistake.

The aftermath

My memories coming back when I was around 10 was extremely scary. I never told anyone either because I felt that I wasnt important so I suffered alone. In todays society we all tend to think that the older you are the more help you need to process trauma because you remember more but I would have to disagree because had I had the attention my sister had I dont think I would’ve ended up with such a horrible part of my life being controlled by my mental illness.

Sometimes we think that because they are older and can remember more that they are the ones that need the most help. It can be very damaging to someone’s life if they are ignored and suppressed. When they are not treated properly it can ruin the future of the person. It can be a real life never ending nightmare for the person experiencing it.

Please stay tuned for more about my life and the struggle I had with my mental health Illness. As Well As how I overcame it. If you are feeling alone and unwanted or feel like there is nothing left please reach out to someone who can help. Please contact your local authorities if it is a life threatenting emergency. For more resources, please check out my resource page. For more information on mental health illness please check out my mental health illness page. You can also check out these resources.